What a click-bait title, right?
First and foremost men are men and women are women. By that I mean, a transwoman is a woman, a transman is a man, so when I say man or woman I am not differentiating between trans or not because like I said transwomen are women, trans men are men. If you disagree that is fine but I have friends that are gay/lesbian, hetero, trans, non-binary, asexual, bi-sexual, pansexual, amongst other labels and I love them all, and I call them how they identify. Now I do make a slight distinction about genetic male and a genetic female, but it’s only in reference to sex cells.
So March is Women’s History month in the USA, and I feel about it the way I feel about black history month, it should all be integrated into American history. The strides/contributions women have made are just as important as the ones made by men, which is why I intentionally posted this after March. Women’s history is American history.
I’ve heard countless times, “A woman can’t raise a boy to be a man” and I understood what they were implying, but I still disagree. I was basically raised by my mom, step-dad, aunt and grandma, my dad was/is still in my life but I wouldn’t say he raised me, supported me in some ways, but not raised. My issue with this {WAIT! Brief pause, it may get a little vulgar past this point, so continue at your own discretion} is that the only thing a woman may not be able to explain to a teenage boy is issues or awkwardness that come with having a dick. That’s about it. Using myself as an example, no one taught me about shaving, no one taught me anything my mom didn’t teach me first. Sex, drugs, alcohol, women, cleanliness, cooking, cleaning, self care, spirituality, all that stuff was taught by my mom, aunt, and grandma, and my step-dad reinforced those ideas and concepts when he felt the time was right. Now my step-dad & brother did teach me ways to hurt someone physically, I was introduced to various music, and video games, art, and other perspectives on how to appreciate life, but some of that my mom wasn’t into.
It’s funny because I was raised to be respectful to women, but I wasn’t taught to be respectful to women, I was taught to respect those that show me respect but gender wasn’t applied to that. For me it was natural, when my mom and I went out or walked around I was alert and watched the people that approached us. And while I’m also not a fighter, I was taught if someone is coming at me, to defend myself regardless of gender, race, whatever, if they want to do me harm and conflict can’t be avoided, do what I gotta do I could crash or flow. Which was crazy to me because you always hear “you should never hit a woman” or “men and women have to be separate in contact sports”, so to have a little lady tell me “if a bitch puts her hands on you, you need to do what you have to do, you shouldn’t be a victim either” changed how I saw women from i must protect, they are delicate, to no, like any other person you treat them how they deserve to be treated. But Women don’t get the credit they deserve, there are some exceptional women athletes as well as scientists, and everything in between.
In school girls seemed like foreign concepts to me because I didn’t know much about them, even though one of my close friends when I was younger was a girl, and as I got older I was always hanging out with girls, but when you’re just friends I feel like you overlook gender. I feel like at such a young age I didn’t put too much thought on girls because most avoided me anyway, I was a nerdy, runt, but funny! So what attracted people to me was usually my humor or nerdiness, which hasn’t changed too much from who I am now.
More recently. I was thinking of a friend, they admittedly, don’t really know how to approach or talk to women about relevant shit without a buffer. And I kinda of thought about it and came to this nugget of generic wisdom, there is no specific way to talk to any group. You address people as people, hell sometimes I address my pets as people. There is no way to talk to the opposite sex, or someone you are attracted to, you just talk. I talk to my friends all the same, some I share more with, less with others, but I don’t really change how I talk to them. I also find when you goal isn’t to fuck someone, it’s a lot easier to talk to people and break the ice. I’ve been married for almost 10 years, we’ve had ups and downs, but I am faithful to her and only her, so anybody I approach for a conversation now, is as a friend or because you have something cool and I want to know where you got it. I am still awkward, but it’s because I think it’s cause I tend to keep to myself in face to face situations. So the tl;dr answer to how do you talk to people? Approaching someone honestly or friendly is a good start, if someone wants to talk to you great! Make a friend. If they don’t, respect their wishes with no animosity. Be on your way.
Quick side not, because this made me a wee bit mad and I honestly don’t understand it and want to rant a little. So the house voted to pass the Violence Against Women act of 2021, and 172 republicans voted against it because the were provisions that protected LGBTQ+ people and gun control stuff to keep weapons out of the hands of violent offenders. Most of the team against are white men, I assume many if not all of them have wives, daughters, mothers, grannies, and whatnot, safe assumption right? So why the fuck would you vote against something keeping women safe!? I’m sorry I want to live in a place where I don’t have to worry when my wife is not around me because so many people are creeps, I have nieces and nephews I don’t want something to happen to them, or for them to witness shit happen to their moms. I want LGBTQ+ people to be protected, they, like women and minorities, are another group the system seems okay with oppressing and that shit isn’t ok. Systemic corruption is real and that shit needs to be flushed out and eliminated. Vote out the bad bring in the good, FUCK. Thank you for letting me rant.
Being a woman in many parts of the world is rough, because people act like the James Brown song, “It’s a man’s world.” Things are getting better in some places and worse in others, but the act still remains; it’s mostly men in power. There needs to be more women world leaders, and more policies in place to end the gender discrimination and all the other bullshit. Think about what so many men take for granted: being able to wear what they want without being harassed or called some derogatory name for not returning some idiots cat call, being able to walk alone at night. I have nieces, as I write this only two, but still. I find myself sometimes worrying and thinking about them, because they are around so much negativity I fear it would hinder their growth mindset. No child should grow up thinking daddy has to work mommy has to stay home and be the home maker. It’s ok for men to stay home with the kids and it’s ok for women to be the bread winner. A healthy relationship is a partnership and the only role a genetic man can do that a women can’t, is to be a sperm donor, likewise genetic men can’t be egg donors or give birth. Aside from that, people can aspire to be whatever they want, for better or worse.
Now I won’t lie and say I have always been respectful, sometimes I was a jerk or whatever but as I got older I got wiser, and made better decisions. That doesn’t excuse past behavior, or remarks, but I am now speaking/writing from a more informed perspective and as an ally for women’s rights. I say that to say, it’s not too late, it’s never too late to put things in place for the benefit of humanity. Women have fought for rights and equality long enough, they should no longer have to fight for anything, unless they are paid fighters. Equality should be a right, not a reward. As long as that is still something to fight for I will be here to support the women in my life as they have supported me, not because they had to but because of love. Girl power.
Later Days
~Owl
I like to end with organizations (usually unaffiliated) where others can make a difference, so see below, help how you can or maybe get some resources to send others that may need help.
https://girlswhocode.com/ – Teaches coding to girls
https://www.thehotline.org/ – Domestic violence hotline
https://girlsinc.org/ – non-profit that creates a safe space for girls amongst other things
https://www.globalfundforwomen.org/ – helping women’s right on a global scale
Your local planned parenthood they do a lot, help them out.
Also if you are into art:
https://www.octobombstudio.com/
https://linktr.ee/CathedralCreations
If you are into games:
The World Through My Eyes 