A fun little story for Black History Month.
My wife and I went for a walk today because the weather was slightly warmer than it has been recently. It was 25 and overcast-ish and not snowing actively or crazy windy, so after breakfast and some cleaning around the house we went for a walk dressed for the elements, and because covid, masked. Since it’s Black History Month I was wearing (and will continue to wear) my black lives matter mask which my wife bought for me. During the walk we passed one of those neighborhood churches that were based out of a store front, there was an older black man shoveling the snow and an older white lady sitting on a chair out front. When I was still taking public transportation (pre-covid) I would see this lady at the train station asking for change or just passing by telling everyone hello. I usually always spoke, and I did today because if you are polite to me I will be polite to you. As we approached she said “hello good morning”, and I nodded and said good morning and she saw my mask. Then it was “black lives matter. Yeah right. All lives matter!” We continued to walk, not giving her any attention and I told my wife it’s funny she is in a majority black/brown area, outside what looked like a mostly black church, but couldn’t understand why we say black lives matter.
Here’s the thing, we were both sort of right and sort of wrong. Where we were right: Most lives should matter, most, not all, and black lives matter. Where we were wrong, she saw black lives matter and felt her whiteness threatened, and not all lives matter (more on that in a bit). Where I was wrong, I didn’t correct her. I felt it wasn’t my place and though knowledge destroys ignorance, she approached me in a certain mindset and I wanted to enjoy my walk with my wife.
Now I may have mentioned in other blogs, I am in an interracial marriage, I am black my wife is white. Now before the hate flows either way two things: first, love has nothing to do with color or any of the boxes you check off on government forms. Second, before we dated she was in a relationship with white dudes and I was interested in a black girl but for both of our situations it didn’t pan out for reasons and now we are married. That doesn’t make either of us anti-our cultural background, which is something I heard a lot growing up (usually about my brother because he dated outside his race and while my mom didn’t care my dad would bring it up). Back to the story and lesson. My wife bought two of these masks, one for her and one for me and it was after the killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and too many others. The BLM movement was big and the world was a scary place for us, still is really.
The retort, All Lives Matter, wasn’t a thing until black people and their allies cried black lives matter, marched screaming no justice no peace, and that was way after Dr. Martin Luther King Jr did it, and that was after Harriet Tubman, Frederick Douglas, so many others helped slaves escape to freedom. Black lives matter isn’t new, we as a culture have always tried to voice our discontent, but not enough people care, or the people that should care aren’t the ones in power. The world is changing and most lives should matter. I have black friends, white friends, Spanish friends, Asian friends, gay friends, trans friends, lesbian friends, Christian friends, wiccan friends, pagan friends, friends with physical disabilities, friends with mental traumas, young friends, old friends and they all matter to me. I have friends that have wronged me in the past and to this day haven’t apologized, but if they needed my help I would do what I can to help them. In a recent conversation with a new Twitch friend we were talking about holding people accountable for their wrongdoings amongst other heavy things and one of the things I mentioned was wanting to be there for my friends when I can and he warmed me to be careful with that because it can lead to burnout, people taking advantage, etc. Granted I know all that, but it doesn’t change anything for me, I want to be there for my friends, and though we make jokes here and there I know we can lean on each other. When someone called me a Nigger in passing, one of my friends was ready to go look for that person. When a group of us went to get breakfast years ago at an IHOP, you know International House of Pancakes, key word is international, there was an older white couple watching me as I was the only non-white person in the group and we were heading out, so I stared back sat on the waiting bench while the bill was being paid, and stared bouncing up and down and one of my friends saw and sat with me and we decided to be silly together. I have more of these kinds of stories, some are silly, some are scary.
When covid hit, and the Asian community was being targeted by ignorant people, I made sure to check in with my friends to make sure they were safe. It doesn’t save the world, but it was important to me because their lives matter too.
I keep saying most lives matter because I don’t believe all lives matter. The pedophiles that ruins a child’s life does not matter, the C.E.Os that would rather pad their bank account than take care of their workers doesn’t matter, the domestic abuser that beats their spouse doesn’t matter, some lives matter but not everyone. Now, if we exclude those kinds of people, all lives should matter, but what would that look like? How would we make everyone matter? The steps needed to be taken are easy, but the journey would be long and hard because it would rock the system so let’s outline it a bit. Changing the world typically starts in your own backyard so let’s fix the USA.
First things first Medical services should be free for everyone, not a business. Proper medical services which includes mental health services as well. We ask so much of each other on a daily basis, so keeping up with physical and mental health is important. Second, free education for all, and no more banning books. The future generations have a right to know about the “sins of the past” so they don’t get repeated. Ignorance breeds fear, resentment, and expands hate. Education from Daycare to University should be free. A well educated, well taken care of person will be more of a help to society as a whole. Another thing, the pay rate, there should be a wage for different genders or races, everyone should be paid fairly for their work. Some professions obviously would have a higher pay rate, but I want to know the person serving me coffee is paid a living wage and doesn’t have to work 2 or 3 jobs to put themselves through school and barely keep their head above water. We also need to invest more in technologies that will help our planet and not rape it for every resource we can get. Let’s get a fair and equal justice system, for liberty and justice for all right? And if I can get little more activist-y, end factory farming. Those conditions are bad for the people, the animals and the environment. While I am vegan, I know not everyone is and that is their choice, but regular mass murder shouldn’t be an option.
Let’s wrap up for now, but before you go, some takeaways. All lives won’t matter until we recognize those individual communities (Black, Hispanic, First-nations, Asian, LGBTQ+, the various Spiritual faiths, etc.); Let’s educate the masses, everyone regardless of upbringing should be able to have access to top quality education; Everyone should have access to free or low cost healthcare; Liberty and justice for all, it was supposed to be a right to all but so many people are fighting for a little justice; and if our bodies are sacred then what nourishes us should be treated as such as well.
No Justice, No Peace
~Owl
The World Through My Eyes 