Be you

Recently, through talks with my wife and a song in my head, I was inspired to write this particular blog. The song, from the late Chris Cornell’s  Audioslave days, Be yourself. Looking back I don’t understand people trying to be something they are not to fit in with people they don’t really care about. I was a sarcastic, class clownish, nerd as a kid and I’m a sarcastic clownish nerd now, I’m just not in school. But I feel like social media and the whole and wanting to be a part of something makes people lose their own Identity. Our media tells us if we aren’t wealthy, “beautiful”, glamorous then we aren’t worthy. So people grow up with body dysphoria, or other mental/physical issues, but what we really should be teaching is more individualism, loving ourselves, self-respect, and to be yourself. 

No one can be you, like you can. We can imitate our heroes, but like Bruce Lee with his creation Jeet Kun Do, we need to absorb what is useful from our education and interactions, and discard what is not. As we age the WANT to fit in should be replaced by the NEED to be happy and authentic. I can of course only speak for myself and my own experience, and once I started being myself and being more mindful of who I want to be I noticed a mood shift. I still have bad days like most people, but I am able to cope with things better. I don’t feel like I’m in a constant competition to get the latest thing, or to be trendy, or keep up with things I don’t know about to appease anyone. I have my interest, and those close to me have theirs, if we don’t share the same interest we meet in the middle somewhere.

Using myself as an example further, I also let my dollar speak for me sometimes. I have a bag full of pins, some gifted from others, some I gifted to myself. My Pins range from various things but they are things I like (pokemon, owls, star wars, vegan pins, etc). Some pins symbolize my interest, some have meaning between my wife and I, some are just random, but it’s al related to aspects of myself. I wouldn’t buy my mom a vegan pin, she isn’t vegan and I am not trying to push that on anyone really, diet and lifestyle choice is personal to each person invested in a particular choice; I have an interest in the occult I wouldn’t by a pin or gift related to the occult, witchcraft, spooky stuff or whatever for someone that isn’t interested in that sort of thing. I think when we display our most authentic self not only does it bring an inner understanding and hopefully peace, but it also shows how we relate to the world, what we like, what we don’t like, if designer names are important, all that stuff. 

Of course it’s okay to aspire to be something more than what you are/where you are, and it’s okay to admire those people we want to emulate and be like, but no one has the exact experience you have. We each have a personal wisdom, which can become lost if we spend our time chasing the you you think will be accepted as opposed to the you that makes you fulfilled. I also understand the “fake it til you make it” tactic (usually to build confidence), it means act like you have that confidence or whatever until you build that within yourself, but again that is just a tool to build yourself up.

More people need to spend time getting to know themselves. Write down things you like about yourself and other people, as well as some of the stuff you don’t. Do some shadow work and really analyze what makes you tick. Then as best you can translate those realizations into your every day as best you can. I like helping people, for 11 years I worked with kids, now I am more customer service professionally, but in my personal time I blog, write, learn, and try to find my own way of helping people. While I do not want to be an office manager forever, it still keeps me engaged with people (for better and worse). Figure out what methods of reflection work for you and discover who you are. We spend enough time behind mask, labels, and other identities, and not enough time loving and knowing ourselves. The flipside of this, kind of with most things in life: do no harm. Being true to ourselves shouldn’t be detrimental to someone else, you can and should be able to become a happier, healthier you without hurting anyone else.

I look forward to becoming my best authentic self, and I wish everyone luck in doing the same! Your truth is out there, good luck. 

Later days 

~Owl