Time

I told you I’d be back sooner!

Hello

So I have been thinking about something for a while now, and this morning I mentioned a shortened version of that thought in a friend’s Twitch.

I have been thinking a lot about how people give and receive love. Some call it love languages, I’ve heard romance languages, and there are some that dismiss the whole thing, which I can understand. Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch are the 5 love languages according to some (and the book), but if you really look into it chances are most people resonate with multiple options, I know I do I resonate with all of them when done correctly, but after living, or sometimes existing, therapy, and reflection I have come to realize time is more important to me, but not just me to most people if not everyone.

There are a lot of made up things we depend on, money, status, connections, for example. Wealth in most people’s minds is about accumulated money or assets. More wealth brings better status, higher status puts you in connections with others with higher status, if you choose to be. But it’s made up, like measurements are made up, we have different systems and ways to gather information, to make sense of things for ourselves, but we can barely agree on which system is best. Metric or Imperial for example a base 10 system or freedom units.

 Time however is different, while the measurements of time may be flawed, the passage of time is real. Calendars and clocks have their place, like all measurements do, and flaws aside they help us rationalize time in ways that help us keep things moving. But Time is a resource we give out freely and don’t think twice about it and that’s kind of where I am.

Anyone can give you a gift, and over time physical gifts can break, be sold, get lost, damaged, stolen. You can get an engagement ring that seems to lead to a happy future, but if things go sideways that ring is going away, right? 

I can’t count how many times my parents hugged me. I don’t know how many times I have been kissed or held, I don’t know how many times someone wiped a tear from my eye or rubbed my back so I could fall asleep. How many times did someone get me ginger ale, gatorade, or crackers when I had an upset stomach? Does anyone know how many times someone, any one told them things will be okay? I listen to affirmations weekly, sometimes daily if it’s been a rough week, usually because I don’t always hear the words my soul needs  from the people I see everyday.

I don’t know how many times my mom has told me she’s proud of me and loves me, or how many sarcastic responses my brother has given me, or how many times my dad pressured me into saying someone was cute, or how many times my step dad and I when hunting for collectibles, or how many times I heard my aunt laugh at somebody or something.

Time and experiences? They are a whole ‘nother ball game.

I remember  being a kid, going on the American Eagle roller coaster with my dad and older brother, and it was too much for me so I cried and cried, but I remember my dad consoling me. The time I spend cooking for someone, just to say they had better but it’s not bad is time I can never get back. The time I spend trying to console someone, the time spent exploring a new city in a new country is time that can’t be taken away, it can of be forgotten of course but no one can take my experiences from me, or my memories, only time (not to quote Enya, but it’s true). I do what I can to document events and make good  memories, because I may not always have my memories.

Time goes on whether we are here or not. It doesn’t wait, it jus goes on forever. We don’t really know, understand, or can fully conceptualize when time began and if or when time will end. Life evolves, nations rise and fall, the present builds over the past all the time in various ways. And the only constant is the ever flowing time. 

Time the resource that can only be given once. I can sit with you tonight and we can talk for hours  until we have to go our separate ways, and even if we meet up again later down the road it won’t be the same. That time can’t be replaced or re-done. Things can be given and replaced, you can be hugged and kissed by different people for different reasons, maybe you change partners how people changes clothes, so everytime feels special. You can tell yourself today will be a great day. All of that can crumble, relationships, gift, things both tangible and intangible, but the time spent doing all that can’t be recovered.

You can replace a lost teddy bear, If you can heal a broken heart, pick up the pieces and move forward, if your family did you wrong, you can break the cycle and do better for those that came after you and yourself, Someone can tell you those words you need to hear to build you up. 

But the time that was invested to help you heal, the healer doesn’t get that back.

The time spent helping others instead of themselves, the Helper doesn’t get that back.

And individual time is finite, you don’t how much you have to spend until you run out.

So If I spend my limited time on this Earth trying to enrich, enhance, and fortify your life, while skipping out on my own needs, know that that action has great meaning. It may seem like small tasks here and there, but always remember we choose how we spend our time, and no one has to give it up for someone else. But doing so does something for the giver and receiver and is a gift that can’t be given back.

Somedays I don’t want to keep going, I feel done, but I still spend my time on others.

Something to think about, or don’t. Use your time how you want.

Later Days

~Owl